I have a cold.
Usually, I would take the normal
person’s route of simply lying in bed, sleeping, drinking water and eating
chicken soup.
But this week I learned about fire
cider, an immediate cure for the common cold.
My boss swears by it, so I thought “well,
it’s natural. It’s probably not going to hurt anything.” Apparently it is
available at Whole Foods and the like (of which there is none in Bed-Stuy. I
live in the capital of fried chicken and pizza distribution.) Given this inconvenience,
I thought I might make my own.
 |
| What I was SUPPOSED to do. |
Google’s recipe for fire cider,
according the website I went to:
- 1.5 oz cayenne pepper
- 1.5 oz ancho pepper
- 1.5 oz ginger powder
- 1.5 oz onion powder
- Half a head of peeled garlic cloves
- 2 inches of ginger root, sliced
- Enough organic apple cider vinegar to fill quart jar.
Given my cooking
abilities, I obviously didn’t have half that shit. So I thought I would
substitute- put a bunch of spicy stuff together, and drink it.
My recipe, as it
was just consumed:
- 1 clove of garlic, minced
- 1 tsp of cayenne pepper
- A few dashes of Sriracha
- Pinch of oregano
- Fill the rest of shot glass with apple cider vinegar
- Drink concoction.
Unfortunately, I
didn’t read the rest of the directions from Google’s recipe until after I had
already consumed mine:
“Put all of these
ingredients in a quart jar, shake vigorously, and let sit (brewing) for 2
weeks. Take 1-2 teaspoons in some water. Chase with milk to kill the burn.”
…Brew for 2
weeks? Take 1 TEASPOON?!
I took this about
10 minutes ago and I definitely feel 10X worse. Intestines on fire, nose still
running. Next time I’m just going to make the journey to a health food store.
Or stick to chicken soup.
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