Craigslist Subletting Tips

Not that I am looking for a new place, but because I feel like I have weathered the horrendous experience that is Manhattan apartment hunting, I feel that I should share what I have learned. My sister is currently undergoing the "searching for a sublet" issue in San Francisco, which I assume has a similarly overpriced, outdated, and scarce apartment situation driving complete strangers to make living arrangements together simply to have a roof over their heads.

I constructed her this list of tips based on my own experience. 2013 will be a year of contributing useful information to the web hopefully, and not just spewing my awkward drama around.

Here we go:
For starters- this is the kind of ad I look for:

$800 Large room with lots of light in cozy Prospect Heights apartment (Brooklyn) (map)

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Date: 2012-04-19, 3:39PM EDT
Reply to: fqbqz-2967619928@hous.craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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We have a room open for May 1 in our three-bedroom Prospect Heights apartment!

The room is large and has big windows and a wood floor. Rent is $800, and utilities usually run about $50/month. The apartment is located on Vanderbilt Avenue between Bergen St. and St. Marks. It is close to the 2,3 and B,Q and C trains. There is a lovely living room, a large kitchen, very big for New York bathroom, and lots of light.

We are two women in our mid-twenties, not home much but like to keep the house a warm and inviting space for when we're there.

Our lease is up September 1 so we'd like someone to stay at least until then. There is an option to renew the lease if we want to at that point.

Vanderbilt Ave at St. Marks (google map) (yahoo map)

• Location: Brooklyn
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

1. Lead with things about yourself and your living preferences. You should definitely mention if you work from home, meaning you will be around a lot. (This could be a dealbreaker, as most people like having a roommate with a life. However, I would also mention if you travel extensively and what you do. Be realistic about this. If you are an "aspiring actor," don't put that down. Put down what pays your bills, and tell them acting is your ambition). Express your views on pets, smoking, 420 friendliness, and if you are a social, heavy, or non-drinker. Say if you are tidy or whatever and your level of tolerance for other people's messiness (I like to use the term "tidy, but laid back." No one wants to live with the most anal retentive person ever, but no one wants a slob either.)

*Tip on using vague terms like "social drinker" and "420 friendly": You may want to define what you mean. My level of comfort with weed, for example, is occasionally you can do it at parties- twice a month max, and not in the house. I don't like a house the smells like weed and I don't like trying to approach people who are high about anything I want them to remember. My previous roommate had a daily habit that he considered "occasional use." The best bet it to be more conservative. You can always give more liberty than you can take away.

2. Price and location that work for me. Because I live in NY, I look to see if there are trains nearby and I can see how many transfers/ length of time to go to work, which is important to me. For you, you may want to ask

•  Is there street parking readily available? Do you have a garage? Is there an additional cost associated with parking?

•  Also, because I live in NY, things are often not what they appear to be. Stock photos shown by brokers are often NOT the apartment you are looking to sublet. Be skeptical. If it looks too good to be true, there's a catch somewhere.

3. Evaluate the roommates.

•  How old are they?
• Do they have steady incomes? (Phrase this better- say something like "what hours do you work?")
• Know a couple of their interests. (Don't have to be the same as yours, but ideally not someone who is an extremist in religious activities or political activism unless they also mention that they don't force their beliefs on others. You want to live with people who would be the LEAST likely to end up on reality televison, in my experience.)
• Find out if they have a squatting significant other and if they have issues with guests. (If you mainly have out of town visitors, figure out if they have any request about how long people stay. You don't want to step on toes.)

3. How long have they lived there? Have they had any issues with the apartment or supervisor?

4. Are utilities covered? If so, which ones? If not, how much do they cost additional on average?

5. Is this a furnished apartment/ room? How "furnished" is "furnished"? (This would be the time to mention if you have a fully furnished apartment, an inventory of your larger items, and whether or not you are willing to part with anything and if so, what. They may want a new TV for the living room or extra dishes. You never know.)

6. Lease terms and conditions. I always like to know how long the lease is, if there is an option to renew, if they expect me to be on the lease, or if I can just sublet. Also, know what date you can move in. So far I've been lucky with subletting and staying month to month. When moving in with complete strangers, I prefer to stay month to month or sign a short lease (1-3 months) just in case we turn out to be incompatible. You don't want to end up in a place that is uncomfortable for you for an entire year.

And most importantly- just go with what feels right. Start by checking only apartments with PEOPLE who explain a bit about themselves and their apartment and seem community minded and respectful. Then email them back and forth a bit to feel them out. Bring a friend to come see it if you want to, but if you’ve had a phone conversation or skype session to check out the apartment, you may not need a buddy. If it’s just texts, I’d bring someone. You never know who is typing at the other end.

On a personal note: I found the best roommate I've ever had on Craigslist and live with her currently. We've been together for 6 months, and we are both very respectful of each others' space and down to earth. Sometimes Craigslist strangers can turn into great friends!

Moving On Again

I’ve been avoiding this for a while, but it’s probably time to tackle this head on. Jobs. I like mine pretty well. My boss and I get on great, and as far as having to see someone 40 hours a week in an intimate 2 person office… well, I’m happy to say that we can still occasionally go out for drinks with other industry people after work and not strangle each other daily. It’s probably one of the healthier and more enjoyable employer/employee relationships I’ve ever had.

However, there are still a few problems in paradise.

Being as it’s a small office (aka, the two of us) he is clearly the boss/ owner/ person people call to talk to and I am the assistant. I don’t MIND doing some administrative stuff and I’m actually quite good at it, but the problem is that by being good at something I don’t particularly like, I’m pigeon holing myself into a perma-executive assistant type of spot.

While I love having no structure at work and very much appreciate the autonomy of having my own office and personal space, sometimes it presents a problem. In a corporate world, I would have a job title, business cards, some sort of probably written job description, and it would be understood that raises and benefits are to come in a certain time frame. None of these things are the case here. I don’t have business cards or a job title. Executive Assistant, Marketing Coordinator, Office Manager, Project Manager, Personal Assistant (occasionally) would all work as job titles. I wear basically all the hats besides “owner” and “lead salesperson” although I suspect I would have that one too if I knew a bit more about stones.  

Also, I’ve been working here for a year (6 months PT, 6 months FT) and there are still no benefits on the table. I have had this discussion with my boss a few times. He is “looking at plans” he says, but so far nothing has come to fruition. It’s not an emergency since I am on my parents’ insurance until I’m 26, but at the moment, this position doesn’t seem to be built in a way that will make much sense long term. No retirement, no benefits, and not particularly much salary either.

Unfortunately, all of our talks about these things tend to go nowhere, which then makes me think I need to explore some new opportunities. At least to see what else is out there. I like it here, but there is definitely going to be some sort of ceiling on growth and I’m not sure I’m ready to hit it this early. 

So far my Aussie friend and I have had many discussions and very little action on this topic. We’re considering a “Sexy Resume Party” in which we update our resumes to go get our dream jobs (not that I have any idea what that would be… another problem). Then, naturally, we will become rich and successful and live it up in NY rather than just survive here. (Usually a lot of wine is consumed and statements such as “I Love you, girl! I would hire you in a sssecond!” are thrown around). There may be a few missing steps, but no matter. I’m sure things will work out!

Fashion Flashback

Since it’s fashion week in NY, I guess I’ll do a “fashion” post. Obviously, it will not be instructional in anything except possibly what not to wear. 

Hipster Ariel.

Today I saw a girl walking through the Court Square subway stop wearing a shirt that reminded me of myself, circa 2001-2005. It had a picture of a group of nuns on it that said “All the Single Ladies.” I would guess, had “Single Ladies” been written when I was in highschool, I probably would have worn a shirt like that. I always wore shirts that had what I thought were funny/ironic slogans. I had one that said “I think, therefore, I’m single.” (Shockingly, this did not cause a line of eligible bachelors to form at my door on Friday nights). I had another one that said “Club sandwiches, not seals” and had a picture of a sandwich on it. (I suppose the most funny/ironic part of that shirt was that I bought it at Abercrombie & Fitch- not one of the most animal-rights activist companies out there, to my knowledge.) I even had one that said “One Night Stand” and had a picture of a nightstand on it. (This was my mom’s least favorite shirt that I ever owned, and again, the irony is not as much in the double entendre, but more in that I’m pretty sure I was still a virgin while wearing it.)

Although I’m scarcely doing any better with wardrobe items now, (see post from May 11 where I discuss the problems of wearing confidence-building sweater-pants) I do own a couple of nice pieces. This is mainly due to my sister, who is probably waiting for my wardrobe to become a tax write off as a charity case. Last Christmas, for example, she bought me a beautiful Kate Spade purse. It’s black, leather, basic. Sort of a nice way to ease into fashion gradually, since, for the most part, $300 bags don’t go with $6 shoes from Rite Aid.  

However, my purse is also serving dual functionality as my lunchbox for work from time to time. I don’t do it to be defiant - it’s just practical. I’m sure that no one would guess that this morning’s purse contents also included a meatloaf sandwich held together by a rubber band. But fashion is all a business of illusion anyway... right? And I have the sassiest lunchbox in NYC!

Troll Apocalypse?

I saw a woman on the street on my way in to work today who scared the hell out of me. Giant lips, long, fried, black hair... she looked like a muppet. I do not understand this “beauty” trend. It makes everyone look like cartoons!

Here are what seem to be the steps:

The modern woman?

• Fake n’ Bake until your skin has the color and consistency of a leather belt.
•  Botox inject your lips until they look like two sausages attempting to escape from your teeth.
• Fry your hair completely flat.
• Apply fake eyelashes. Thicker the better.

If you have fur or snakeskin to clothe yourself in, all the better. Or inappropriately short skirts that show off muscular, manly legs in the case of this morning’s creature.

 

Luckily this doesn’t seem to be taking off as HUGELY popular, but it certainly has become mainstream enough that I’m finding it on the streets of midtown Manhattan on a Thursday morning, instead of in a back alley of tranny prostitutes (for which this woman could have been honestly mistaken). Ma’am (Sir?) please stop looking like an oversized Bratz doll that is old enough to be my mother and try to age gracefully. Or possibly join the circus. Not cute.

Burned.

Well, I didn’t do a zombie pub crawl yesterday, although I was still pretty much a zombie. Saturday night was a disaster. Here is how that went down.

Unsuccessful Date Guy. I went to his variety show Saturday night after the Broadway show. Now, despite the fact that I SAID he was unsuccessful, he took me to lunch (his own initiation, btw) on Friday. We had a lovely time, catching up, eating sandwiches… I obviously thought that things were turning around and we could go back to Potentially Successful Date Guy. Well, I have a new (and much more permanent) nickname for him. I think it’s going to be Two-faced Douchebag (2FD for short). 

So lunch on Friday was lovely. I thought things were going well, so I decided to go to his show Saturday night. He was there (and acting a little weird) and sitting next to a skinny blonde girl, who was texting away. Soon it became clear that he was familiar with the blonde. In fact, VERY familiar. It was his girlfriend who lives in Pittsburgh. So, while the rest of the night he basically pretended that he only knew me in passing while I sat literally next to his girlfriend, I drank at least an entire bottle of wine. 

The worst part is not that literally EVERYONE in the bar is our mutual friends who knew that I had been seeing 2FD or that they also all knew the Blondie was his real girlfriend and I was the other woman. It was definitely the fact that he openly chose her over me and, in a moment of true character coming through, totally and completely failed every test of decency that I could have used to make an excuse for him. Especially after repeatedly telling me that he sees us together and he’s going to break up with his “long distance thing” who is obviously a lot more serious than he’d let on.

When he went out to have a cigarette, and I had consumed about 3 glasses of wine, I struck up a conversation with Blondie. She models professionally and has her own company. She’s in town pretty often. He goes to her place pretty often. Oh, and did I know he’s allergic to cats? She has two, but he deals with it for her. I played along like I didn’t know him very well and I never told her that I was sleeping with her boyfriend. I’m a classy lady. And in any case, telling her what a piece of shit he is wouldn’t change the fact that he didn’t pick me. 

Then later, his OTHER ex girlfriend (also a blonde model) showed up for the show. Seriously? How many women in this bar have you FUCKED, 2FD? Am I LIVING in my own nightmares? OMG. 

So, the moral of the story is that I got totally burned this weekend. 24 hours later he texted me “I’m sorry about last night.” Well, too little too late, Buddy. Go fuck yourself. I don’t exactly think a delayed text apology is going to instantly make this water under the bridge.

I moped a lot yesterday, but today I’m moving on. I already did the running man naked in my living room to Marky Mark and then followed it with Cher. Pumping up my morning to remember that I am young, single, and living in New York City. And I can do better, biotch! I DO believe in life after love, Cher. Thanks for reminding me.

:D

I was just thinking how at about this time last year I was house-sitting for my family friends and having a “Home Alone” worthy experience with their cats. Weird. That seems like another lifetime ago.

In fact, I was breaking down the themes of the last few years. 

2010: The Year of the Trainwreck

Reasons supporting this conclusion: I got a DUII and 4 traffic tickets (that should really seal the deal right there, actually) I was living with a musician 11 years older than myself and performing housekeeping services for him in lieu of paying rent until  he proposed and I moved out. Hmm.  I had a little too much rock and roll going on for an average 22 year old.

2011: The Year of Change

Reasons supporting this conclusion: I changed addresses 3 times. One from the musician’s house, back to my parents’ house, and then to my Upper West Side residence 3000 miles away. New job, sold the car, traveled a lot… 2011 was a really excellent year for growth.

2012: (Tentative theme, since we are still pretty fresh into it) The Year of the Perma-vacation

Reasons supporting this conclusion: I’m not going to lie- I love living in NYC. I love that I am busy and have something going on every single night and (selfishly) it’s all about ME! I don’t have pets to let out, kids to pick up, a significant other who has any expectations of me whatsoever. It’s amazing! I go to work, where my boss loves me and I get to see people be happy with their engagement rings. I go out to bars with cool people or amazing restaurants for dinner afterwards. I go to Broadway shows (For FREE) about once a week. AND my new roommate is awesome, my new apartment is awesome, and, honestly, the only thing I can even complain about in my life right now is the weather. Life is fucking amazing. 

That said- I have a birthday party with an “All You Can Drink” Cocktail situation going on in a couple of hours. What a way to kick off Memorial Day Weekend! Tomorrow I have brunch plans, followed by a Broadway show, and on Sunday I will be attending a Zombie themed pub crawl. Bring it on!