Resolutions for 2011

I’ve been thinking about my New Year’s resolutions. Last year’s New Year’s resolution ended up a cruel irony in which I resolved to give up drinking until St. Patrick’s day, and, when I succeeded, I went out for the St. Pat’s day festivities and spent the night in a jail cell with a DUI on my record and a 21 year old stripper named Tasha, who had been arrested for failing to appear in court to face her initial shoplifting violation.

This year the goal is to have no negative aftermath.

Besides the obvious (work out, eat healthy, file taxes before mid-April, etc) I will also be making some resolutions for self-improvement that I think I might actually succeed in.

1.       No traffic violations in 2011. Based on the fact that I am pretty much in the hot seat on these already, it’s just very practical to stay out of the legal limelight for, oh, forever.

2.       Get a new job. I’ve been looking and applying to places for 6 months probably, so this process has been ongoing. However, I’ve been employed at an unchallenging job and I’ve been a bit lazy. I need to amp it up a notch by putting my resume out and allowing opportunities to find me.

3.       Work out- for real! You always hear that people only ever do this when they’re being held accountable. That means do it with a buddy or join a class. If I could afford it, I’d get Jillian Michaels to drill-sergeant my ass back into a bikini. I recently got a new Ipod Nano, the thing to track your progress with your Nike + Ipod, and intend to go buy compatible shoes. When I’ve invested $300 in equipment, maybe I will feel the need to get my money’s worth. 

4.       New car. Again, been saving for this for some time. I’d really rather spend the money on a trip to somewhere cool rather than necessary equipment to get me to and from my 9-5 drone factory, but based on the current vehicle, I’m pretty sure the car will be choosing me more than I will be choosing it. I’ll probably have to pay someone to take my old car from me.

5.       Learn to cook. It’s true, I hate cooking. Anything with an open burner stresses me out because I’m concerned it will burn, be undercooked, or in the miraculous event of Brazilian chicken-and-rice night, be both. Salads? I’m a pro. Prep work? I’m your girl. But complete meals that involve any kind of meat or timing, and it’s going to be a disaster. This is the year of learning to cook at least 3 things that can be classified as “tasty” and “food.”

I realize that’s a lot to do in a year, but since most of them are things I was already considering and/or working on, I think 2011 is a good year to wrap up these goals.