House Sitting So Far

Since I’ve been living at home for a while now, I find that I often miss having personal space. I never get to spend any time naked or listening to loud music or watching TV shows I like- we don’t even have cable. So naturally, when close family friends told us they were going on a trip to Maine for 2 weeks and needed a house-sitter, I was thrilled. Between the 18^th and the 31^st, it would just be me, their 2 cats, and an entire house to ourselves. It would be like a vacation while still being in town!

So far, house-sitting has not been as picturesque as I imagined.

Day 1: I went over to the house after work to let the cats out and unpack my things. I took some time making myself comfortable in the guest room in the basement and left the back door open a crack so that the cats could come in when they were ready to. 

 

However, as the sun went down, only the orange cat returned. 

I spent the next 3 hours panicking about how I had already lost my friend’s cat. I periodically walked outside and yelled the cat’s name and whistled. This probably would have worked better if A. The cat knew its name, B. The cat cared, and C. The cat was actually a dog. Being as it was the BLACK cat who decided to go missing at night, I couldn’t have seen it even if it had been around. I ended up leaving the door cracked a bit overnight so that it could come in, and slept fitfully dreaming of it being eaten by coyotes or something awful.

In the meantime, the orange cat tried to eat my hair in my sleep and pawed at my face all night. I woke up next to a puddle of cat urine on the bed. I ended up having to start a load of laundry at 6 am and open a window in the basement to air it out. The black cat had let himself back in during the night, so at least I could stop worrying about that.

Day 2 (aka last night): I ended up moving all of my things out of the basement guest room and upstairs to my friend’s bedroom. I was able to find both cats that night (before it was dark) and put them in the basement. I slept soundly with no worries of missing cats or being batted in the face.

Feeling that things were taking a turn for the better this morning, I got out of bed, took off my clothes and headed to the shower, but then remembered that I had left both cats locked in the basement and decided to let them out first. Then, since I was already down there (and still fully enjoying some peaceful naked time) I put out the catfood and decided to clean the litter box. The litter box is located next to the door that leads to the garage, where there is a conveniently located trash can outside, so I stepped out onto the garage steps with a bag of kitty litter and let the door shut behind me.

At this point, I am locked out of my friend’s house at 5:30 am, completely naked, and holding a bag of kitty litter. And I have to be at work at 7 am.

I spent a little time cursing and looking around the garage for a spare or a phone- I figured I could at least call in sick to work (or call my mom and try to explain what I’m doing outside naked at the crack of dawn) but I couldn’t find either one. I began contemplating the possibilities of turning the grill cover into a toga and the awkwardness of meeting the neighbors under these circumstances, should I end up having to get others involved.

Then I remembered- the basement window! A silver lining to the cat peeing on the bed was that the window was still open a crack! I ran outside to my friend’s backyard, still fully naked, and fully grateful that it was May and not that cold. I had to move some heavy iron patio furniture and yank a screen off the window, but I managed to break in. 

I climbed naked through the basement window into the guest room and looked at the clock. 5:45 am. I was still going to make it to work even though I had practically just re-lived a scene from American Pie!

With the way things are going,  my goal is to not burn the house down in the 2 weeks they’re gone.