It’s sort of occurred to me that I don’t think I want a
boyfriend. All this time I’m constantly disappointed that I am on dates with
guys that I don’t want to be in a relationship with, but really I’m not sure
why I would want to be in one anyway. It's not them! It's me!
Here is a short list of the things I
actually want a guy for:
- Provide emotional dumpster for me to blab about my boring
day
- Cuddle partner when I am cold or lonely or whatever
- Always have a date for functions where you will be judged
for not having one
- Occasional sex object
- Killing spiders and opening difficult jars and such
- Driving, if I ever have to go somewhere I can’t get to on
public transit
…Aaaand that’s it! That is all I want! I don’t want to listen
to his shit or have to constantly validate his manliness or meet his parents
(they always hate me anyway). I don’t want to have arguments about where we
spend the holidays and I don’t want to give up drinking with my girlfriends on
weeknights so we can hang out. I will text him about my day and he can tell me
I’m pretty and then we can possibly sleep together later. Perfect relationship...Or
something.
Basically everything this says to me is “Not ready for commitment.”
Could I hire this person? Seems like a pretty low maintenance list. Perhaps a Craigslist posting for a part-time on-call boyfriend is in order...
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