Moving On Again

I’ve been avoiding this for a while, but it’s probably time to tackle this head on. Jobs. I like mine pretty well. My boss and I get on great, and as far as having to see someone 40 hours a week in an intimate 2 person office… well, I’m happy to say that we can still occasionally go out for drinks with other industry people after work and not strangle each other daily. It’s probably one of the healthier and more enjoyable employer/employee relationships I’ve ever had.

However, there are still a few problems in paradise.

Being as it’s a small office (aka, the two of us) he is clearly the boss/ owner/ person people call to talk to and I am the assistant. I don’t MIND doing some administrative stuff and I’m actually quite good at it, but the problem is that by being good at something I don’t particularly like, I’m pigeon holing myself into a perma-executive assistant type of spot.

While I love having no structure at work and very much appreciate the autonomy of having my own office and personal space, sometimes it presents a problem. In a corporate world, I would have a job title, business cards, some sort of probably written job description, and it would be understood that raises and benefits are to come in a certain time frame. None of these things are the case here. I don’t have business cards or a job title. Executive Assistant, Marketing Coordinator, Office Manager, Project Manager, Personal Assistant (occasionally) would all work as job titles. I wear basically all the hats besides “owner” and “lead salesperson” although I suspect I would have that one too if I knew a bit more about stones.  

Also, I’ve been working here for a year (6 months PT, 6 months FT) and there are still no benefits on the table. I have had this discussion with my boss a few times. He is “looking at plans” he says, but so far nothing has come to fruition. It’s not an emergency since I am on my parents’ insurance until I’m 26, but at the moment, this position doesn’t seem to be built in a way that will make much sense long term. No retirement, no benefits, and not particularly much salary either.

Unfortunately, all of our talks about these things tend to go nowhere, which then makes me think I need to explore some new opportunities. At least to see what else is out there. I like it here, but there is definitely going to be some sort of ceiling on growth and I’m not sure I’m ready to hit it this early. 

So far my Aussie friend and I have had many discussions and very little action on this topic. We’re considering a “Sexy Resume Party” in which we update our resumes to go get our dream jobs (not that I have any idea what that would be… another problem). Then, naturally, we will become rich and successful and live it up in NY rather than just survive here. (Usually a lot of wine is consumed and statements such as “I Love you, girl! I would hire you in a sssecond!” are thrown around). There may be a few missing steps, but no matter. I’m sure things will work out!

Boundaries.

I’ve been incredibly lonely lately. I realized that I am closer to my roommate (a girl I have known for less than 3 months) than I have been with any boyfriends I’ve had in the last 3 years. This may be because she is not someone I am trying to impress, and I make less than no effort to “keep the mystery alive.” How anyone does it in marriage is beyond me. 

Some example conversations I have had with my roommate that exhibit the nature of the relationship include:

• Bowel movements, including the phrase “I spent the whole day in the bathroom. I was basically just shitting a pile of wet sand. It was probably the tacos.”
• Vinegar faces. “So, when he cums, he bites his tongue in his cheek and I couldn’t figure out why I recognized it for a while. But THEN I realized it’s the same face my grandma makes when she’s concentrating really hard.”
• Dietary habits. “I am too lazy to cook. I think I am going to eat these Chef Boyardee raviolis from the can. Don’t judge. Less dishes.”
• Health issues. “…you know how sometimes when you have diarrhea and there’s sometimes blood in it?”
• Relationships. “Do you ever wake up because you farted in your sleep, but then you wonder ‘Wait. Was it him?’ I just can’t wait until we can cross the ‘fart boundary.’ I have been holding it in like crazy.”

Me dashing out of the kitchen, but less blood.

This morning we crossed the threshold of “apartment nudity” when she came upstairs to find me cutting up cucumbers in the kitchen- naked. (Yes, I get ready for work completely naked until the last minute when I finally cave to being confined by conventional clothing. No, I did not know she was home.)

As soon as I saw her coming, I ran off to my room (knife still in hand, probably looking like Christian Bale on his hooker killing spree in American Psycho) and she yelled down the hall after me “Dude! I don’t CARE that you’re naked!” For having met this girl on Craigslist 3 months ago, I’d say I hit the jackpot.

Moronically upbeat mug... I want one.

I’m not saying I would want to have all (or any) of these conversations with a significant other, but it’s nice to just be able to let your guard down and do/say whatever you want around someone. I’ve never gotten there with a boyfriend. I’m always jealous of people in these happy, carefree, completely non-PC  relationships. How do people FIND people who accept them for who they are?! Even after months of dating, I always still feel the need to keep constantly shaved legs, NEVER talk about anything that occurs in the bathroom, will not take off makeup in front of him, and definitely don’t go completely caveman on my food like I do when I’m alone. Not even when I’m drunk!

  

Maybe I’m just one of those people who wasn’t meant to have a One.