Too Much Of A Good Thing...

Having man troubles, except now it is the opposite of my usual problems in that I have a cup that runneth over instead of a cup that is completely dry. Last night I was texting my Needle in the Haystack guy, who is still too clever for me as demonstrated by the following conversation:
Me: So I breifly considered the gym. Didn't go. But I am still patting myself on the back because I cooked at home and made food like an adult. And then I sat down and ate it at the table instead of over the counter with a napkin or out of the box or something. Heyo!
NITH : I hope to someday have a table.
Me : In my case, it came with the apartment. Thanks, Roommate.
NITH: Mine came with loud French teenage neighbors. Thanks, Napoleon.

Zing! That boy gets me. I like the challenge. However, due to his extreme sarcasm, he's not especially romantic or feely or whatever, so I've been getting THAT fulfilled with entirely too much naughty texting with the 34 year old guy in Boston. That conversation is like reading 50 Shades of Gray, so I will not be posting it. He is a giver, incredibly sensitive, and- unfortunately- in Boston.

He visited me in NY a couple of weeks ago and some stuff (not sex) definitely happened. But it was GOOD. However, this is incredibly inconvenient timing as I had just begun recently sleeping with NITH. Boston knows about NITH, so I don’t feel too bad about that. And he’s in Boston anyway (not being a saint, I’m sure).  NITH doesn’t know about Boston. Just that he’s a friend who visited recently. Technically, I’m single. I have had no exclusivity conversations with anyone about anything and I don’t see a ring on this finger. Time to be a Samantha, I guess, but I still feel a bit guilty about it.

My main problem is not wanting anyone to get hurt while I am whoring around figuring things out. Honesty is pretty painful with this sort of situation, but finding out when you had a different expectation of what was going on is so much worse. That would make me no better than 2FD. I still feel wronged by that whole situation, so I don’t want to end up being a hypocrite doing the same thing as he is. Given that I like both of these people quite a lot, I would hate to damage either of them in any way.

I don't know what to do here. Damnit.

Sexual Encounters

 I’ve just tried to show my 18 year old sister a picture of the guy I hooked up with on Facebook, who happens to be from Jupiter, Fl. Her response: “ Yeah. I’d tap that. Get in your rocket ships: we’re going to Jupiter!” Then followed a rendition of the song “Drops of Jupiter” by Train, as performed by my sister, who knows approximately 25% of the lyrics.

“..Drops of Jupiter! In her ha-ay-ay-air. Hay-ay-ay-air. Eh Eh eh . EHHHHHH. Tell me! Eh…eh…ahh… wind on your feet! Something something lottery! Eh eh…”

It always weirds me out to hear my 18 year old sister telling me she would “tap that.” Probably because my entire life I’ve always still felt like she’s a kid, even though I keep getting older. I guess she’s 18 now though. We bought lottery tickets together a few weeks ago. Recently, we were getting ready for work/school (work for me, school for her) and we were doing our hair in the bathroom. My dad was walking down the hallway to say goodbye before work, but before he got to the bathroom, he stopped in the hallway. He bent to pick something up. Then he tossed it on the counter.

“What’s this doing in my hallway?”

It was a Trojan condom wrapper.

My sister: “The dog must have taken it out of the garbage.”

Dad: “Well, why is it in the garbage?”

My sister: “ Well…. My boyfriend and I are being safe! I’m 18 years old, DAD!”

At that moment I couldn’t leave for work fast enough.

The most amazing part of this is that our dog did basically the same thing to my other sister Christmas before last when he dragged her used condom out of the trash can and left it for my mom to find when she took her boyfriend to the airport. The Abstinence Dog strikes again!! My parents would probably be relieved if I ever ‘fessed up to that. It would mean that I hadn’t become a lesbian, because, for all the male traffic I bring through this house, they’d have to wonder. Dental dams would still leave some doubts.